From couple to family: the role of the father

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Marie-Ange Demory
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Advice for new dads

Many men await the moment of birth with growing anxiety. They begin to show their paternal instincts during the nine months and as soon as the baby is born, they anxiously await the end of their daily work to go home and take care of their baby. Many men help the woman with housework and look after their child beautifully just like a mom would.

These fathers are happy to participate one hundred percent in breastfeeding the baby, especially if the mother cannot breastfeed. They will gladly give the bottle, cradle the little one and prepare him with love for the night.

Even if a new mother is lucky enough to have a similar man next to her, the discussions for the new family structure they will also occur. Mom unwittingly tends to have an exclusive romance with her baby.

Think only of him, he takes care of him, he is always available for every little baby needs. She pours all of her energy into looking after her child in the same way she used to take care of her partner or husband in the past. Neglecting it.

The new mother will show fatigue, especially if the child struggles to sleep at night, as a result she will be more irritable and unwilling to be able to think about her husband too.

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New dad in crisis

Dad has to be patient for a few months. The child will begin to get used to her environment, she will understand what the rhythms of her family are and consequently the mother will also have time to recharge herself with energy and remember that she has a partner who feels neglected. Patience must be great even when the exhausted partner will pour all the tiredness of her onto the father at the moment in which this comes home after a day of work. Usually this moment coincides with the child's greatest nervousness (from XNUMX to XNUMX in the evening) and often in this span of hours the family tension is palpable.

Read also: The couple during pregnancy

The father may be accused of not helping around the house, of not being present and of not caring for the child. Often this is not the case, but the amount of work and maternal fatigue lead the woman to ask her husband for help using words not really appropriate at the moment.

Some fathers cannot accept their role e they behave as if the baby was not born. Perhaps they do not accept the new responsibilities, and feel overwhelmed by the numerous requests of their partner.

In all cases, the best thing to do is take a moment to talk and clarify their respective points of view. Reason does not belong exclusively to one person. Clarifying points of view to seek a positive solution is synonymous with maturity. The presence of a child who is totally dependent on the parents will induce a very strong change of balance of the family that needs to be managed.

The management of the stress for this family revolution it is essential. Talking, clarifying, looking for small solutions, which often allow fathers to help the mother more and mothers to listen a little to the needs of their husbands, is enough to start this new path together with serenity. There family serenity it is essential to help grow a calm and self-confident child.

But growth is not just the child's prerogative, parents will also learn to grow and mature together.

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