How to behave when there is a little brother on the way

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Philippe Gloaguen
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It happens very often that, almost out of the blue, children ask for a brother or a little sister. A timid request that, however, over time, can become pressing. But between expressing a desire and see the belly of growing mom there is a big difference, which can translate into moods e jealousies. So here's how it's best behave when a little brother arrives to avoid grievances and sadness.


Even before being born, the newcomer is perceived as one threat. a stranger, for an intruder, for an rival that steals the warm place in the arms of mom and dad. There fear that is unleashed is linked todistress to be abandoned, set aside and rejected. Babies can respond in different ways. Frequently it can happen that the first born react extremely violence and defend itself as spontaneously as possible, that is, by attacking. L'aggression it can be evident, but it can also be hidden and manifest itself in small, unexpected and sudden episodes.


For the Parents there is no real list of right or wrong attitudes to hold, but there are some indicazioni to be considered for handle in the best way this period.

Never forget to prove yours love to yours first born: tell him the gioia that you felt when you knew you were expecting him and how you fell in love with him at the first look. Even before the "intruder“, Inform him about what is happening and answer his questions. Try to involve him in the choice of the name, in the purchase of some things or in the preparations for the birth



When the second comes, while you deal with the neonate, demonstrate at the most great not to have forgotten him: talk to him, ask him for some little things help, exchange your impressions and get some time only for you the two, for a walk or a bike ride. During breastfeeding, which is a delicate moment, let the older one assist you and address him with greatness have e affection, demonstrating that thelove for him it remains intact and constant. It is important to confirm your own love al first born and gradually teach him to share it with the majority small.


The role of the Pope assumes great relevance. Can devote some time exclusive to the first son, sharing experiences that make him feel even "bigger", showing him what is outside the walls of the house, introducing him to world.


Defense strategies also include regressive thrusts which, unknowingly, are activated to regain the place "usurped" by brother or from sister. THE reproaches and punishments they are not needed, but you should be aware that if you are in the game sooner or later you will be back to normality. The child will learn that he too was just as small as the brother and that, therefore, he has already had for himself what he now has neonate. But yours love no one will ever take it away. 

To deepen the topic little brother on the way from a psychological point of view you can click here.

Audio Video How to behave when there is a little brother on the way
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