The time has come: you feel ready to have a baby, but your mate brushes it off and doesn't seem to be on the same page. Many women, who have reached a certain point in their life, begin to wonder how to get pregnant if he doesn't want to and whether it is right to press or leave the right space and wait.
First of all, let's start with a premise. The woman undoubtedly has a "maximum time" to get pregnant. There fertility it reaches its peak around the age of 25-30 and then begins to decline. And when the age of 40 approaches forcefully the biological clock seems to tick in a pressing way and she begins to fear that she will no longer be able to become a mother. For man, things are very different. They can have children even in old age and certainly for them the time that passes is not a limiting factor.
This difference between man and woman it is important to understand, on a biological, but also psychological level, because in many couples at some point an insurmountable gap can be created on the burning issue of parenting. So what can we do if we want a child and he doesn't?9 PHOTOS
How to understand if the couple is experiencing a moment of crisis?
What is certain is that, within one consolidated couple and with a professional life now underway, sooner or later the time comes to talk about the possibility of having a child and we don't always agree on the times.
The man answers in a vague and confused way to the questions of his partner that become more and more pressing as time passes. And he hardly has the courage to speak openly and to confide what his doubts and fears about him are.
But which are the most common fears of man against paternity?
- The loss of freedom and autonomy: men fear that a child will limit them in their free time, but also in the management of daily life;
- the economic burden: a man who has a family must not only think about being self-sufficient but will have to take on the responsibility of raising and maintaining a child;
- jealousy: especially in the context of couples who like to spend a lot of time alone, a child can be considered a nuisance, a sort of intruder that would undermine the couple's harmony;
- the fatigue: Certainly the stories of friends and family who have just had a baby about sleepless nights and endless tantrums do not help and certainly do not contribute to giving fatherhood a romantic aura.
First of all it is important, within a stable and happy couple, to speak openly about important issues, projects and growth prospects. Even if he seems to be reluctant to answer questions or openly discuss the possibility of having a child, the fact remains that postponing the question or ignoring it can only undermine the harmony of the relationship and create misunderstandings and discontent. Better to sit and chat openly and in all sincerity, trusting fears and desires and trying to understand if his refusal is only temporary, if basically he just needs some reassurance or if he has never wanted to become a father and will never want to become one.
A single chat will certainly not be enough. You have to be patient, wait until the time is right for him too, reassure him that your life can change for the better.
Let's face it clearly: it is quite frequent that in the end it is the woman who decides to give a push in the right and near direction to have a child. In many cases the man ends up indulging the desire of his partner (which risks turning into an obsession) also in order not to lose her.
This does not mean that he will be a bad father: if for the woman motherhood starts from the pregnancy test, for the man the nine months represent a sort of limbo, a strange period of passage towards a new condition that is not yet of the all clear until the baby is born.
It is not uncommon for a man who appeared to be distant and confused during his pregnancy to suddenly melt away at the sight of his baby and turn into a great dad.
What is certain is that the possibility of having a baby should be discussed when the couple experiences the height of their harmony and happiness. It is a leap in the dark, a serious change for both of us and certainly a child will not strengthen a worn-out relationship.
The last option is to have a child and raise him alone. Many women, accomplished in their work and in their own lives, realize that the desire to become a mother surpasses all other thoughts. We are in an age where we can be independent and make our dreams come true. Does a child also need the father figure? Certainly.
Put your partner in front of the responsibility of a child that we only wanted could have the effect of making him discover an affectionate and present parent, but also the opposite effect.Read also: Topics to discuss with your partner before having a child
And what if your partner finally seems to have accepted the idea of becoming a dad? Before he changes his mind again try to getting pregnant as easily as possible calculating which are the fertile days of the month and concentrating sexual intercourse in that period or using precise methods or sticks to calculate ovulation with a certain precision.
Regarding the positions for get pregnant easily e quickly in fact, no scientific research has shown that one position during the relationship is more effective than the others. We know that the one of the missionary or the one on one side can help the spermatozoa run towards the egg to be fertilized, as well as we can advise you to remain stretched immediately after intercourse or to raise your legs high, perhaps resting them on the wall.