How to overcome the fear of childbirth
Exactly 15 seconds after exploding with happiness at the news that in nine months you will have a baby and that you will soon be a family, another subtle emotion assails - in a completely different way - the future parents: the fear. Fear of not being up to the task, fear of the dirty and bad world that awaits him, fear of life that will change radically.
But above all, as the months progress, a fear, much more physical, practical and brutal, will come to visit you: the fear of childbirth. Today we tell you, joking a little bit about it, the ten things that future moms and dads can do to win the fear of pain and the panic of the first moments of your child's life and enjoy this special and unforgettable moment!
- A disconcerting truth: you are neither the first nor the last
The first disconcerting truth that comes to your aid is that you absolutely must tattoo yourself on your belly - with natural inks, please - either write on the bathroom mirror where you go every morning because of violent nausea, or hand embroider on your sweet little baby's layette coming soon is: you are not the first nor will you be the last woman to give birth! This has been happening since about the time of the Earthly Paradise. No mother, since there have been mothers, has had the ability to generate children by budding (see: losing an arm and seeing it transform into a newborn), not even that poor Eva, born instead of a rib (maybe if she tried with a fingernail ... but basically the other way to procreate is much more fun).
Same thing goes for the future. The lights of science now speak of conceiving children with stem cells and without the need for a man at one's side. But that I have heard, no baby can be born without a mother who contains it, wraps it, protects it, grows it in itself for about 9 months. If this fundamental assumption is not enough for you, think of another small detail. Once inside, your child, expected, wanted, dreamed and sought, must necessarily be born. Valid alternatives are few. And they all go through your beautiful and very strong frightened body.
The time of delivery
Many beautiful images concerning the moment of birth, unique and magical
- Talk to them: interview with doctors and pre-birth courses
Being pregnant (or almost being a father) entitles you to have crazy cravings for exotic food in the middle of the night. And to have a special diary with a dense network of telephone contacts of sector specialists, ready to listen to you and give you reassurance. Usually the first to contact will be your trusted gynecologist, who knowing you well, will have all the patience and willingness to reassure you step by step about what happens day by day to your body and your baby. As the birth approaches, you can then ask for advice and speak with the midwife who will follow you, with the doctors of the chosen hospital, with the anesthetist if you have opted for a caesarean or epidural, with a pediatrician if you have any doubts about the health of the child and even with a psychologist, to deal with anxieties and fears. Even Obama does not have a team of doctors like that. Don't worry and if you feel the need, take advantage of it ...
- Yoga, childbirth preparation courses and relaxation techniques
Luckily for you, unlike your grandmothers and great-grandmothers who had to protect your baby bump from bombs and your moms who had to protect it from hordes of rockers during Woodstock, you moms in 2000 are wrapped in safety cushions. Practically everywhere it is now possible to attend pre-birth courses, yoga classes, relaxation and breathing, where you can learn fundamental relaxation techniques (for you) or how to change a diaper on a teddy bear (for your him). Serious and reliable courses can be found really everywhere. You can ask your trusted gynecologist for advice or the medical facility where you have thought about giving birth. From autogenic training to the position of the pregnant grasshopper, from aquatic gymnastics to organized interviews with specialists or other mothers, you will be spoiled for choice
- Special readings: one big book and many fables
Each large library has a shelf dedicated to books on childbirth, birth, the fears of new mothers, children and all related topics. But before you are tempted to buy all the manuals that talk about babies and the like, get a single good book from your gynecologist, which you will have to trust blindly (otherwise: change it immediately and do not settle). For the rest, if you are in the pipeline (from the sixth month), together with your father, burglarize the area of the library dedicated to children. Buy the most beautiful fairy tales, chewy books to nibble on, The Young Holden or Momo. Think of a book for the future, a book of stories and nursery rhymes, a book of legends. If you want to think about your children, rather than the booklets of rules, memorize the tales and lullabies that you will tell them in the evening.Read also: All stages of labor
- Turn up the volume and listen for three
Music is an excellent anesthetic to fear. Accompany the nine months of waiting with a special ipod in which you will copy one maternity compilation on purpose. Put in the lullabies for the night, the songs of your childhood, Mozart to soothe the fetus, or the wildest rock if you release the tension. Get the future dad to do the same. And dedicate ten minutes of your day to this fun and relaxing three-hearted listen.
- Grandma's advice
Choose the least anxious grandmother / mother / mother-in-law / relative who has already dealt with one or more pregnancies and have a good chat with her. Your partner will do the same, when addressing a male relative. Talking to people who have been through this before and have made it will help you right away to feel good and not to feel alone in the world with a baby in the belly ready to get out of a very small crack. Crucial in this case is the choice of the right person. It must be someone you trust, who knows how to listen and cheer you up, who does not dramatize and feed your fears, but who does not take your doubts lightly either. If you have in your family - or among your friends - such a serene and positive person, elect her as your guide on this wonderful journey.
- Freedom to choose
Always keep in mind to yourself that you are the only ones who can decide how you will deal with the birth. Whether your partner or some relative they don't have the sensitivity to go along with your choices, just ignore them. You must do what feels right for you - respecting your child. Obviously if you want to give birth on a shuttle maybe you are exaggerating. It is up to you to understand, and feel, if you are ready for natural birth, if you want to resort to an epidural, if you prefer to relieve pain with natural techniques, such as water birth, if you are too afraid and prefer a caesarean. If you are lucky enough to be able to choose, do it with the heart and without fear of being judged.10 PHOTOS
Natural childbirth, 10 ways to prepare
Natural childbirth, how to get prepared in the delivery room? Here are ten tips to follow
- Against cradle swaps
There are dozens of urban legends in this regard. Children mistakenly mistaken, they become children of other couples, while you raise complete strangers ignoring him for the rest of your life. Apart from these horror movie scenarios, know that this is really difficult for this to happen. The undersigned, when she was born, had a yellowish Asian color (due to jaundice) but no nurse or doctor dreamed of putting her in the cradle of the Chinese. If you really don't trust it, hire a detective to spy on the child day and night or glue a microchip to the child with which to monitor his moves ...
- Mammo for a day
Future fathers manifest a more discontinuous and down to earth fear. Unless they are hardened idealists who suffer from the idea of giving birth to a creature, where there is no room for garbage, the ozone hole increases and the values are dissipated, the future fathers will have a very strong initial decompensation. An interruption of about 9 months. And total panic at the very moment of delivery. To prepare them for birth, the best thing is to get yourself a good, mild sedative. Jokes aside, get your partner to participate to childbirth preparation courses is the best solution. Here, together with other fathers, they will be able to realize billions of things they did not know, from the female body to how to change a diaper. To train them at the level of manual skills then, do not worry and give him a doll. Taking cicciobello in your arms will not be like holding your child, but in the meantime you can get used to handling a little creature, changing it, cuddling it. Seeing is believing.
- Shock cure based on horror
For future fathers panicked at the idea of attending the birth, I recommend a good vision of the saga of "The Saw" or traculenti horror related. After so much blood and so much torture, nothing will be able to upset them anymore. Instead, I would avoid exposing your partner to the presence of pestiferous, sleepless and screaming babies, close to the last months of gestation. Not all children are born possessed. But if yours is, better find out later than think about it first.
- The happiness of the after
The only real serious advice, after this list of ironic ideas to laugh at the fear of childbirth? Focus on the after. About how happy and complete you will be from then on. Any anxiety, pain, fear, doubt will be forgotten when your baby is born. And if you fear nerve breakdowns, postpartum depression, melancholy or pain, think that there are great people who can help you during and immediately after giving birth. And that no one, before being one, knows how to make a mother or father. You will learn to be good parents along the way, between joys and mistakes, holding your puppy's in your hand