Our fears before becoming moms

Who I am
Catherine Le Nevez
Author and references

The fear of becoming a mother

Beyond the understandable concerns regarding pregnancy, childbirth and the baby's health, when we become mothers we are assailed by other more or less great fears.

Here are some of them.

Becoming like our mother

There is nothing to be done: whatever our opinion of our mother, she is our main model of parenting. And so, sooner or later we catch ourselves replicating some of her behaviors with our children - and maybe it is precisely the attitudes we most detested about her when it was our turn! Let's clarify ourselves and act consciously: let's think about what we have learned from our mother and decide what we want to emulate her and where instead we want to avoid her being her example.

Losing ourselves

The transition between an independent person and a parent involves holding on to the things that matter most to us and instead letting go of the others. But that doesn't mean we're saying goodbye to our individuality forever. We are changing, we are going towards a new version of us, we say: nothing more and nothing less.

Change the couple relationship

Inevitably, our relationship as a couple will never be the same again: we know that children change all dynamics, but this does not mean that our relationship will get worse.

Traumatize the child forever

Sometimes we are blindly terrified that we are all wrong with our child: maybe we are raising a little monster who will grow up to become a sociopath that is dangerous to society? These uncertainties are typical, but keep in mind that anything that worries us in this regard is highly unlikely!

Not having enough money

In these difficult and uncertain times, one of the most common fears we face when expecting a baby is about money. It is known that "children cost" but how much? Will we always be able to provide for their needs? Not to make them feel inferior to other children? True, we may not be able to give our child everything we want. But that may not be a bad thing - it will teach our child to prioritize and value money.

Being a bad mother

The constant bombardment of information about pregnancy, childbirth, childcare, education and so on leads us to think that in order to be a good mother, one must become an all-rounder. In fact, no one knows what it really means to be a good mother, a perfect mother. But the first step, the fundamental one, is being a good person.

Also Read: Are You Mother Enough?

Hate children

We are one of those who as soon as you enter a restaurant carefully choose a table away from families with children; and now that we're pregnant we can't help but wonder, sometimes, what kind of trouble we've gotten ourselves into. But the experience of motherhood changes us, it really changes us. Don't worry if you don't love children: you will love yours, that's for sure.

Give up sex

The constant fear of interruption due to night and day crying can certainly make sexual activity difficult at first, not to mention the decreased desire that many experience during breastfeeding, etc. But remember one thing: children's days are short. If we have a great sexual relationship with our partner, we will soon find her again.

Affect your career

When the kids are around, it's no longer easy to stay in the office for an extra hour or work all night to meet a deadline. On the other hand, we tend to take work more seriously as it guarantees financial stability for our family, and we will soon find the right solution for our changing needs.

Being trapped

Once we are mothers, we are forever. We will be more messed up, more worried, more emotional, completely immersed in the new reality that perhaps provides less lightheartedness, but often more authentic joys. All parents say that they would not be able to imagine their life without the children ... and if they all say it, there is probably something true, right?

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