From our forum on spontaneous abortion, the story of one of our users who wanted to share a very bad experience with us.
I state that I will write everything I have been through, a bit to free myself and try to get better, the story is bad and I do not recommend for those who are too sensitive to read it.
It all started on March 2, wake up one morning ready to face the day and instead after peeing terrible bright red blood stains in the toilet paper.
I was at the 11th week and the panic is inevitable, I call my husband and tell him to take me to the hospital, but first of all I call my gine who is also a friend. She tells me to go straight to her office, she tells me that the baby is fine but that I have to be in absolute rest that does not allow me to hospitalize because at home I am better with my family and gives me all the therapy to follow ; threat of abortion this is the diagnosis, he tells me to rest assured that most of them work out.
At home I stay in bed for 15 days without doing anything, just getting up to go to the bathroom, my sweet husband takes me to bed to eat. The pains begin with strong contractions and on March 19, after a totally sleepless night, I go to the hospital, where I am hospitalized. Ok I say I needed hospitalization, the important thing is that everything works out.
Attached to the infusions for 5 days, the losses begin to disappear, on March 27 they send me back home, I have to continue the therapy and rest and after 7 days do the check-up. In the meantime, my husband collects the results of the bi-test and we take them to the hospital together on April 1st to show them in the gine and he gives me an echo of control and everything is ok, the child is fine, he sends me home to see each other later. visiting on Tuesday after Easter.
On April 4th, Easter day, the losses are gone, not even "residuals" and so I think my nightmare is over, but the day after theand losses and contractions resume stronger than before and all this without ever having stopped therapy or made the slightest effort.
I call the gine and he tells me that if they increase to go back to the clinic, otherwise that we will see each other the next day as expected. The next day I return without pain and with very few losses, but at the time of the ultrasound he tells me that the baby is out of fluid.
At first I don't understand gravity, but I am hospitalized again on the IV and my therapy is drink plenty of water so that the liquid reforms. In the meantime, I'm at week 15. After 2 days they echo me again and tell me that a little bit of liquid is reforming.
I sigh of relief and continue to drink a lot of water 4 liters a day with more drips attached. In the evening, however, I get sick from severe pains that lead me to put back everything I had in my stomach, and thus begins my real nightmare, a night of contractions, the most painful I have ever felt, every 15 minutes I was in the bathroom to do the pee and the losses were few, but the pains too many and too strong.
At one point in the middle of the night I pee again and I feel something coming down from my body and makes a splash in the toilet water, I start screaming, I don't know what it is, my bed neighbor calls the nurses who immediately run, take me to bed and rummage with the midwife inside the toilet to see what is, in the end it's just a clot of blood the size of a fist, the doctor on duty calms me down, the pain stops and I fall asleep.
At six in the morning, time of the temperature, I take the thermometer and put myself on my stomach as I was next to it and I hear a lake of blood coming out, I flood the bed and they urgently take me to the ultrasound scan, the little heart beats but the little liquid formed is gone.
After about two hours, the head physician visits me and tells me that there is nothing more to do for my baby. Premature rupture of the amniochorial membranes and almost total detachment of the placenta. But his little heart beats hard, he doesn't want to give up.
The desperation is enormous, they leave me starving on food and water all day, in the evening they echo me believing that the little heart has stopped and ready to induce birth, but he is there. The next day still same, wearing is the wait for wait for your child's heart, so wanted and sought, to stop beating.
Thus every day passes between a visit and an ultrasound, on Mondays I refuse the drugs, it is useless to do spasmex if the contractions must be there to start a labor. On Tuesday, the head physician presents me with the possibility of terminating the pregnancy during routine visits, but I refuse in my opinion, it is only nature that must decide when to terminate my pregnancy, not me.
Days pass in a situation that is always the same until Thursday night where another important hemorrhage makes me decide to interrupt this much desired pregnancy which, as the gynecologist made me understand, it was leading me to a serious anemia, given the constant bleeding I was going through day after day.
So I am transferred to another hospital where this "operation" is performed in the fourth month of gestation. I arrive destroyed in this other structure where I did not know anyone and I am immediately told that I have to do a psychiatric visit and that without the consent of this I would not have been able to do anything. and so everything is postponed to Monday.
But I say I was not enough all the torture to which I was subjected? Friday passes and Saturday arrives and in the afternoon some excruciating pain begins again, my fear is that of another hemorrhage, I was already very weak that I could hardly stand up. I call the doctor on duty to warn her of the pains that are too strong and she treats me very badly, almost as if I were bothering her. He tells me that I had to suffer so much and if I wanted everything to be over I didn't have to go to the hospital on a Friday but on a Tuesday when I could do something., not when the psychiatrist was not there. As if I could choose the cruelest and most difficult decision of my life based on their calendar!
However, the doctor visits me and there is no dilation and does not even do an ultrasound x to see if there was still a heartbeat she sends me back to bed and after a while the pains go away by themselves, but they return after an hour but this time they are different and after the visit the gynecologist (another since the shift had changed in the meantime) tells me that I had 3 cm of dilation. My baby wanted to give me the gift of leaving him like this without me interrupting anything. At 23,20 pm on 17 04 2022 I gave birth to my baby, a 120g boy he went out as soon as he saw the light, I was at week 16.
I wanted to write my story, I apologize if it is very long, but I hope I have removed a weight from my heart. I accepted this situation, I always pray for my baby that I didn't even want to see, it would have been too much agony.
I just wanted to tell those who lose a baby overnight that it is better to lose him suddenly and cry immediately than to cry when his heart is still beating inside you and wait for him to stop to cry again and again
