The phrases not to say to a new mother who sleeps with you

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Marie-Ange Demory
@marie-angedemory
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WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A MOM WHO DOESN'T SLEEP -



An article aimed especially at certain

new fathers

that seem nailed to the bed every night. Ok the division of roles, I work and you are at home, etcetera: it is still quite irritating to observe another human being snoring blissfully at three in the morning while you have not yet slept even five minutes (not from the night before, but from a week.) So be careful how you speak!

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In the morning: "I'm very tired."


It sounds like a sentence of unprecedented perfidy and stupidity, but it is more common than one might think. Normally the scene unfolds like this. You hate the spouse crossing the threshold of the bedroom and shuffling towards the kitchen. So, looking for a coffee, you get up exhausted from the sofa where you did NOT sleep all night and where you moved around three o'clock so as not to disturb the sleep of the tireless worker. You see him, he sees you, you expect a word of comfort and he instead welcomes you with an indefensible "I'm very tired." The conclusions are up to you.


"What did I miss?"

This variable seems to assume that we have had an interesting or at least exciting night. And if the question comes after you promised to get up this time, it is even more irritating if possible.

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"We will never be able to get him used to sleeping alone."

If we give up and, as a matter of pure survival, we opt for

let the baby sleep in the bed

, the questions that can break our fragile nerves are many. From "Couldn't He Die Crushed?" to "And how are we going to have sex?" leading to the catastrophic premonition "So he will get used to sleeping with us and he will no longer be able to do it alone." Hence the well-known phenomenon of forty-year-olds still sleeping in their parents' bed.


"You hurt: you should let him cry."

Which assumes the current situation is our fault, guilty of not having enough pulse and refusing to even let him scream all night, or at least until the neighbors riot. We would like to let him cry, but we would go out (the benches in the park below the house seem comfortable enough for sleeping).


"You look bad."

This consideration perhaps does not reach the heights of intelligence of "I am very tired", but it comes very close. Do you want us to go back to showing our age by ceasing to look like our grandmother? Do you want to find us smiling and not hysterical in the morning? Do you even make a foolish claim to take back our sex life? So get up, once in a while. The fact that you go to work does not justify you in letting your child's mother sink.

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"After all, you've always wanted a baby."

Another sentence that seems more like a pathetic justification, together with all the others aimed at shifting attention to something that also makes us feel guilty "Don't you feel lucky to be able to stay at home with your baby?" "These are the best moments, you should enjoy them." etc. All true, but it does not change the fact that we are NOT sleeping. For months.

"Such a child sleeps all night"


As if to say: there are alpha children and beta children, which they probably correspond to

mom super

or super inadequate, like us.

curated by Laura Losito

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