Things to know about the arrival of the second child

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Catherine Le Nevez
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Things to know before the second child

You are about to try the adventure of looking for the stork for the second time? Well done! But it is not certain that everything will go like the first time. Something will probably change, and in some ways it will be better. Here is a list of things to know before the second child.





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10 things to know before having a second child

Are you in the process of trying to have a second baby? Here are ten things to know



How to survive two children

Undoubtedly life with only one child it's easier. Especially when you get older it is easier to organize yourself to go out, go on vacation, spend your free time and of course follow him in sport and his activities. How to do it with two children?



  • Whether they have more or less the same age you can organize yourself trying to reconcile sports and extracurricular activities, enrolling them at the same school also allows you to reduce the times and difficulties associated with travel and exit times.
  • If they have very different ages it is important to ask for the collaboration of the father who can take care, for example, of taking the older child to play sports while the mother takes care of the smallest. But remember that the first-born, especially if he has been an only child for many years, can suffer a lot from jealousy for the arrival of his little brother, so it is important to organize yourself so that you can dedicate time to him alone: ​​for example, you can accompany him. at a birthday party for a school friend, or schedule an afternoon every two weeks to be dedicated only to him, to take him to the cinema or to do something that cannot yet be done with a small child.

Of course the time for yourself it is precious. Don't be discouraged: it is understandable and normal for you to feel great in the early days difficulties even to carry out simple and daily activities, let alone if you find the time to go to the hairdresser. But have patience and know that when both of them go to school and become older and more independent you will also be able to find time to dedicate only to you. And don't give in to the temptation to do it all by yourself: ask for help, from a grandmother, a friend, your partner, with whom you must always feel able to confide in each other and express feelings that are even difficult to understand.

Better an only child?

Many couples in the country have only one child, someone by choice, someone else by obligation, perhaps because they had the eldest child in years and when they thought they had another they did not succeed. In any case, having an only child has advantages and disadvantages:

  • i advantages they are undoubtedly related to the major independence and freedom to live one's life as a couple and personal, to organize oneself better and without major traumas or difficulties for holidays, everyday life. The responsibility, even economic, are inferior and after some time from the birth of this child it will not be difficult for the couple and the new parents, to find a new harmony, to rebuild a equilibrium which all family members will enjoy;
  • the disadvantages are linked above all to the fact that we will have to work harder to avoid putting too much weight, responsibility and expectations on this only child, we will have to organize ourselves in order to favor his social life, the construction of friendships and personal and emotional relationships outside the small nucleus familiar.

How to manage the arrival of the second child

Impossible to deny that thearrival of the second child you panic in the family that magri had only recently found stable rhythms and equilibrium after the birth of the firstborn. Probably i first times they will be difficult: the eldest will have a tantrum, will be jealous and very active lively, while the little one needs tranquility and cuddles. Feeling inadequate and a pinch of guilt towards everyone can be normal, but let's not be overwhelmed by difficulties and fear. We keep everyone together, we organize the days by dividing the tasks between mum and dad, we do not expect perfection from the house, the family, ourselves and we give everyone the time necessary to rebalance the situation and rebuild harmony.

Read also: Ideas to prepare him for the arrival of a little brother

Little brother yes or no?

Many moms think they have a second child is practically a gift for the firstborn. Which will give him a familiar figure who will stay with him all his life and on which he can count. In many cases this is true, in others not: siblings fight and relationships are not necessarily idyllic.

So let's not just think about giving a little brother to our son just because "they will grow together”, But above all to expand the amount of love and the network of emotional bonds for the whole family.

Fear of having a second child

You certainly don't have to, we often tend to comply with pressures social or fmailiare: there is still a very deep-rooted prejudice about the only child and there are many people who tell us without brothers he will grow up spoiled and alone. In reality, the life of an only child is not that bad and if you really don't feel like facing another pregnancy, don't feel guilty.

Why have the second child

I reasons to choose to have another child can be various:

  • the eldest son insistently asks us for a little brother;
  • we have a very small family, elderly grandparents, no uncle or cousin for our match, and it seems right to enrich the network of family affections;
  • the father asks us and assures us that he is ready;
  • we are only thinking about a second pregnancy: if desire and thought become a fixation perhaps it is the case to think seriously about having a second child.

When to have the second child

Obviously it is difficult to decide to do one second child when the former has grown more and the balance is now firm. If we start wondering when is the right time to have a second child, we probably never will. Certainly for some mothers it may be easier to think of having a second pregnancy a short distance from the first: enter the loop of baby food, diapers, breastfeeding, you are not afraid to start all over again, especially if the first born is about to complete. three years and is about to go to kindergarten.

Someone else prefers to put greater distance between one child and another: in this case we could have the advantage of actively involving the firstborn in the arrival of the little brother, but perhaps things from a practical point of view will be a little more difficult.

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