What does it mean to have a third child

Having the third child

What does it mean have a third child for a couple and for the mother? Many parents after having two children are torn between the desire to renew the excitement of parenthood and have another child and the fear of ruining the balance they have built as a family unit and compromising the life of a couple (perhaps already severely proven by the birth of the two children).

Often when we caress the idea of ​​having a third child we dream looking at the photographs of big happy and smiling families, full of children, and we are convinced that it will be tiring, but also extremely satisfying to enlarge the family. But it would be better to go beyond these perfect little pictures that know of advertising and look reality in the face, knowing what you are going to encounter, perhaps by reading experiences of those who have tried and tell without filters how their life has changed.

That's what Erin Zammett Ruddy does in a recent Yahoo article. Erin's reflection starts from reading the results of a survey conducted on more than seven thousand American mothers which shows that having three children would be less tiring and stressful than having two, because in some way the third "follows" what has already been done and built and as parents we are much more prepared, often less pressing .

It wasn't exactly like that for Erin and her husband. In the end certain that these parents they love their third child, of course, they love him, but it's undeniable that his arrival has completely rocked their world, in a way they never even imagined. The newcomer is a little pest, completely different from the other two, he whines constantly, makes a lot of pranks, makes everyday life really difficult.

Il wedding can be severely tested by the arrival of the third child. Erin says that especially the first year it was extremely difficult to maintain a strong relationship with her husband. With the first two children, responsibilities and childcare were 50% split between mom and dad, but when her third husband was born, he had a more important job that often took him away from home. And in the end, all the weight of this big family fell on Erin's shoulders.

Read also: The advantages of having a large family

There is no doubt that children strain the marriage. Of course, in the end when they are a little older, those who have held firm will probably find themselves with an even closer and deeper bond, but couples who consider time spent alone sacred, who do not live their union only as a function of families are the ones who experience the most problems with the birth of children and when the third arrives, things can be really hard.

And the question that plagues Erin is what she is really doing for her children. The third child took away attention and time from the brothers and in general following three children became complicated, difficult, stressful. Without wishing to consider the objective difficulty of taking a shower alone without someone coming to the bathroom to complain because a brother has made a spite of him, the problem lies in the guilt which arises suddenly and which makes you ask "am I doing a good job with them?".