What never to say to a pregnant woman

Things not to say to a pregnant woman

It seems that as soon as the baby bump begins to glimpse everyone, colleagues, family and friends, they break down the barriers posed by the simplest good manners and feel authorized to ask inappropriate questions or comments. Here are all of those things to never say to a pregnant woman

  • They are twins?

What is behind this question? That the belly is so huge it could hold two?

  • You did artificial insemination?

Typically this is the second inopportune question following the one above, if the expectant mother's answer is "there are twins"

  • Your belly is high / low / big / small.

The future mother has her own personal idea of ​​the shape of her baby bump because she looks in the mirror. Any other opinion is superfluous.

  • What kind of contraceptive did you use?

Generally this is a question that is asked when you did not think at all that the woman in front of you wanted to have another child, perhaps a short time has passed since the birth of the first child. In short, the implication is "how did this accident happen"?

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  • Are you hoping to be male or female?

Unless the expectant mother has access to some selective abortion practice, it is completely useless to ask this question because even if she wants a boy or a girl in the end it does not count and in the vast majority of cases the answer, diplomatic, will be "I hope just be healthy. "

  • How long will you be on maternity leave?

He doesn't know yet. We will just have to wait

  • Are you really pregnant? I didn't know you wanted more children

Read point 4 again: even if you didn't want any, now you want some.

  • And you get to go to work?

Unless the person in front of you is a belly dancer there is no reason why he cannot continue working as long as he feels it. She's just pregnant, she didn't have a lobotomy

  • My sister / friend / wife had a very simple pregnancy

Are you really sure that this is really the case? How do we know that she actually looked peaceful but she didn't swear in her head on her own? It is useless to speculate

  • Who is the father?

A person reveals his secrets only to those he wishes. And if a woman is having a child on her own and doesn't have a permanent partner, or she has recently separated and you haven't kept up with her life developments, avoid embarrassing questions.

The answers we would like to give to all inappropriate questions

And here are the answers we would all like to give to those who ask us inappropriate questions or feel the right to express unsolicited opinions:

  • I guess now you will be in seventh heaven every day (your nervousness grade 4): and why on earth?
  • But now you have to rest eh... (your nervousness grade 8): yes oh well .. then you come and do all the things I have to do, so I rest
  • Now you can eat for two! How wonderful! (degree of your nervousness 6): no, I cannot eat for 2, that is, I would gladly eat for 2 and even for 3 but if I indulge this engulfing spirit that has taken possession of me I become double myself .. and it is not good thing...
  • Do you plan to do others? (degree of your nervousness 6,5): sorry eh ... I'm pregnant and already quite involved in this project here already quite complex ... what do I know if I do others? but do I have to tell you now? You have to fill in my family status between now and 2022?) At least let me do this first no ?????
  • Of course in August with the heat that you will do with your belly in the eighth month ... better to give birth in winter (your nervousness degree 6): what is a sleep warmer that I set it to the right temperature? Unfortunately I am not a wild rabbit that has a gestation of 4 weeks. ) the nine months end in September. I will supply myself with a walking fan!
  • Is dad happy? (degree of your nervousness mixed with disbelief 9) ... no comment
  • Be careful!!! You can't eat this ... that, you can't drink that other ... and beware of the vegetables because in the greenhouse where they were grown a cat could have passed and infected them, and then ahhhh !!! be careful that has the preservatives .. you are crazy !!!! (your nervousness grade 8): what a drag !!! but do you realize that someone like Kate Moss has had a child, the Bushmen have children in the middle of the forest, our great-grandmothers gave birth in the fields ... and I should be in trouble for Coop's baby carrots?
  • Oh my God, you are huge! (your nervousness grade 9): Just because someone is expecting a baby doesn't give anyone the right to comment on its size. Believe me, one feels fat enough and heavy enough, without having to hear it repeated, or you can answer "I may be huge, but I'm even thinner than you, and you're not even pregnant!"
  • But aren't you too thin to be pregnant? (your nervousness grade 9): it's like asking someone if they're anorexic, it's personal and it's not fair!
  • Can I touch the belly? (your nervousness grade 8): why should you?
Read also: Pregnant at 40: what people think

Phrases to avoid with a pregnant woman

A book has even come out in America: What never to say to a pregnant woman (What to never tell a pregnant woman). Here is a short checklist of phrases to avoid with pregnant friends

  • Various comments on weight and dimensionsi: If you can't help but comment on her appearance, limit yourself to phrases like "You are a splendor" or "You are wonderful". No to the hypothesis of multiple pregnancies or dissertations on how much she has come to gain weight. Conversely, it is also forbidden to compliment a lack of weight gain
  • "Can I touch the belly?": A large number of people seem to become socially inept when faced with a pregnant woman. Why on earth would you have to reach out to a stranger? The belly palpation is allowed only if the friend is really intimate, and not before having asked for it. If you are no more than confident, even just the request is inappropriate
  • "How's it going with constipation? What about hemorrhoids?": When pregnant, some women like to share information about pregnancy symptoms, even the most embarrassing ones, with others. Not all of them, however, are part of the category, especially when it comes to blurting out their discomforts with strangers. A polite "How do you feel?" it will be more than enough
  • Unsolicited advice on names: If your friend or acquaintance has chosen a name for her baby that you do not like, there is no need to give her your negative opinion. Surely it is something that she will have carefully considered on her own
  • "It was an accident?"This is an intimate question to say the least that should only be asked by the best friend or mother. Absolutely out of place
  • Horror stories about childbirth and / or the first monthsi: could your birth video have been reused in a splatter film? Has your child never slept for more than an hour straight until the age of two? Are you never able to regain your weight again? There is no need to put a person aside from your misfortunes to whom none of this will happen
  • "Are you still with the baby's father?": If even the last time you talked to your friend, she told you that she has big problems with her partner, now that she is pregnant, there is no need to revisit. Surely both are aware of having to resolve their conflicts
  • Unsolicited advice on childbirth: aHave you already given birth and are feeling excessively anxious to dispense pearls of wisdom about which is the worst modality, the best doctor in town, the hospital where you are best treated? Remember that not all pregnancies are the same, and that not all women are the same; if your pregnant friend is a waterbirth enthusiast, she will have good reasons for her. Recommendations are welcome only when they are explicitly requested
  • "Enjoy it while you have time!": Nausea, perennial fatigue, back pain and various other ailments make pregnancy a not exactly carefree and goliardic period, especially for those who fall into the large category of hyperactive women, who come home from work already have a vacuum cleaner in their hand. Any pregnant woman, even the most polite, will have a very unattractive answer to a statement of this kind on the tip of her tongue.
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